Tag Archives: New Year

Self Inflicted Wounds

Self-Inflicted WoundsAs I look back on 2012 and think about it, I really have to say it was probably the worst year in my life. I made so many bad decisions, decisions that are still causing trama for me as I go into 2013. It was the year a couple of things that had been brewing for years finally came home to roost.

It’s often thought that a new year gives you a fresh start but that’s not true at all when you have messes to clean up that you created the year before. This is what I am facing now; trying to clean up the messes from last year while not making any new messes. If I could just get caught up with everything and truly have a new start.

All of my problems are my fault. They are self inflicted wounds which makes it worse when I think about how senseless they are. None of them had to happen. Bad decisions, I’ve made a few. But already I am struggling not to fall into the same rut, the same bad patterns of behavior. It’s so easy to slip back into that comfortable mold, even when it causes so much pain later. It’s like eating chocolate. You know it’s going to make you fat later but when you’re eating it, it’s so good. It’s a battle, everyday and I think staying aware of that will make the difference. Maybe starting my day by asking, “How am I going to win the war today?” “What battles to I have today?” Don’t sleep on your issues, or they will rise up and destroy you.

The Year Of Caring

caring

Happy New Year.

I hate rote traditions and one of the worst is new years resolutions. Just complete bullshit, although it does sell a lot of gym memberships.

Some people I know and respect on the Net have a thing they do where they pick a few words to be like watchwords for the year. It’s kind of like a theme for the year that goals
This year, however, I am giving it a shot and the word I am choosing is Care. It is the year of caring.might spring out of. A framework for the year if you will. I have resisted doing this because I’ve sworn off any and all such new years traditions.

If you read the previous post about depression and indifference, you will see that I have been feeling quite indifferent this year. It hasn’t done much for me and in fact is putting me on a dangerous path in several regards. I’ve just decided to start caring again.

 

Caring about my wife and family
Caring about my health and body
Caring about my career and income
Caring about what kind of person I am
Caring about life

It’s the root cause of all my problems and my life would improve tremendously if I cared. I don’t know what else to do. It’s either that or check out really and I don’t feel like checking out. So welcome to the year of caring.