Tag Archives: Life Wasted

A Life Wasted

wastedlifeWhen you realize you have lived at least half of the most productive years of your life and squandered most of them, that’s when you can get really down. I am talking professionally here, mostly. Even some of the things I had some accomplishment in I never took to the hilt. I was good, but never approached great. If my life could be summed up in one word it would be average. I was fine. Good, not great. I guess if I truly accepted that, believed that was all I was capable of I would be satisfied. But the fact that it bothers me makes me think I was capable of more. I didn’t come close to reaching my potential and that gnaws at you.

I swear to God if I see another image with a motivational or special saying typed on top of it I ‘m going to jab my eyes out. I hate that shit. I’ve seen it, read it, tried to believe it all. It never got me anywhere and now I can’t stand it because I know it’s all bullshit. Words. Don’t. Mean. Shit. You can talk all day, hell I talked a great game all the time but backed it up with nothing. And then people find out you’re full of shit and when they do, you’re really fucked.

I am proud of myself, though, because as dark as I have been feeling lately, I have not gone down the rabbit hole. Used to be things would begin to spiral well out of control by now, but I’m keeping it together. How, I don’t know. Some of that “counseling” paying off?