Trouble With Change

ChangeConsider this a part two of the Gloom From Out Of The Blue post. I have always had problems with change, especially change that comes suddenly or without warning. I have a story to tell you as an example of change and it relates to the Out Of The Blue post perfectly because it’s also about moving.

When I left college I went to the Silicon Valley to seek my fortune. I was completely hooked on tech and there’s no place better for pure tech than the valley. Also, my two sisters both lived in the valley so that was a nice bonus. I found an apartment in Sunnyvale with a guy I met on some kind of apartment matching service. This was before the web that we know today so I can’t remember how the service worked. He was a nice guy and we got along great. We had a two bedroom apartment in a nice complex and all was good.

After a year or so of living there he tells me that he is going to move to a new place a few miles away that is more of a condo setup. It’s much more like a house than an apartment and is therefore much nicer. He was happy to have me come along if I wanted.

I looked at the place with him and it seemed fine, but I started feeling very anxious about it. At the apartment, there were more units and a little market and activities. There was a sense of community that I really liked. There was no such things at the new condo. It made me get that disconnected feeling I described in the Out Of The Blue post. It’s not like I had a lot of friends or participated in any social events at the apartment complex, but the fact that they were available at all seemed to make a difference. But I did not want to find a new roommate or go out on my own, so anxiety and all, I went along. I remember the first few weeks at the new place, my anxiety surged. I was so uncomfortable and sad. I cried several times. After awhile though, I did adjust. After a few weeks I was fine and I lived there for another year and had no problems. That beginning adjustment period was the heard part.

So I am thinking about this new house that is freaking me out and now wondering if there will be a similar adjustment period that will be very hard but after a few weeks I will adjust and be fine. I don’t even know yet if we will even buy that house, but if we do, I hope this self awareness helps me though the adjustment period.